Jurassic World: My Sort-Of Review!

So..my review of Jurassic World…

I am not a movie reviewer. These are simply my random thoughts; take them as you will.

Of course I enjoyed it, it was a movie with more-or-less realistic dinosaurs eating people. I do get really, really tired of the “family bonding occurs during episodes of getting lost and attacked in dinosaur jungle” theme of these movies, but, that’s just me. I root for the dinosaurs( and your stick figure family was delicious.) Although as far as the human characters and the acting goes, I loved the dynamic of the main characters in the first JP movie. This movie does not have that dynamic, charm, wit or humor.

I did like the design of the theme park; slick as it was, I couldn’t help but marvel at the innoventions. I was appalled by the baby dinosaur riding part; it looked hideous and I don’t know if they were making an effort to make CGI baby dinosaurs look miserable but that was what I got out of it.
I still got a huge chuckle out of the echoes of “spared no expense”. Everything is run digitally and electronically; just like in the first movie, if the power goes out, you can’t lock a door. Nothing is manual! And that, my friends, gets you in trouble when working with animals. Sooner or later, dependence on automation will do you in. The big blobby guy at the I.Rex paddock was a great example; he had probably never had to get up from his screen and walk into the paddock to DO anything, and then when he had to..well, we know what happened.
I could tell that the design and the constant cell phone use and digitized everything was an echo of how we are so dependent of electronic  everything in our society..and it also looks as if it was a statement about how it makes us bad mommies/mommy substitutes and inattentive assistants, and…say, did anyone else think that that assistant of Claire’s..was her name Zara? Anyway, was I the only one who thought she got  a pretty horrific death? Sure, death by dino won’t be pretty, but most of them are over with quickly. Zara was picked up, dropped, thrashed, dunked, drowned(hopefully dead by then), then finally eaten. I think somewhere in the scheme of things in filming, deaths should kind of fit the crime. All Zara did was lose some kids in a theme park—not the choicest of things to screw up with, but hey, there were a lot worse things she could have done in the “film rules” to have deserved that death.

The hamster balls completely looked ripe for tossing and mangling by dinosaurs.

Having gone through it all myself,I wish I had been moved by the boys’ plight of worrying about divorcing parents. Sorry, it just wasn’t there.

As cold and sterile as Claire was presented, I actually felt myself feeling some sympathy for her early on; she had a whole lot of shit to keep track of and really didn’t know what she was up against.

I think we were supposed to like Owen. As cheesy as his “stand down ,I’m the alpha” speeches were to the velociraptors, I still admired his guts and wit.

And I adore Vincent D’Onofrio, and I almost felt sorry  for him having to play this herky-jerky overweight bad guy. Still, it was fun seeing him on the big screen.

Ending was waaaay to tidy and wrapped up. But, this franchise kind of has a history of the giant dino saving the day in the end, doesn’t it? I remember kind of shrieking with delight when the Mosasaur appeared at the end.

I did enjoy the velociraptors being the protagonists for a change. There was obviously that bit of worry when the I.Rex became their alpha for a brief time and apparently sent out an Order 66, but seeing Blue and the others get back on track at the end was enjoyable for me. If they are that intelligent, it seems that they should be able to acknowledge who might be their ally in the end.

Did only Blue survive? Did we get to see the velociraptors on screen enough to even allow audience identification of the individuals?

How did I.Rex communicate with the velociraptors if she has been raised in isolation? Where did she learn the language?

So yes, I enjoyed myself but found myself rolling my eyes at a lot of clichés and predictable situations and plot holes.

BUT I LOVED WHEN THEY FOUND THE OLD VISITOR CENTER!!!! I really dug all the nods to the original movie!!!! Those were great fun to look for.

Now, the dinosaurs.

First off, anyone who knows me even the slightest bit should know I am a dinosaur nerd. Chances are you are not, BUT, you may be a nerd about something I don’t have a lot of interest in. So when I tell you “Dilophosaurus didn’t have a frill”, and your response is “It’s a movie monster, just chill out”, don’t start spinning around on your eyebrows and spitting wooden nickels when you’re watching a movie with a military plane and the paint job is wrong or that style plane wasn’t used by that branch of the military, or some other such issue. We’re all nerdy about something, and if you want to explain the accurate way something should be, I think everyone has a right to do so, whether having it accurate is good filmmaking or not.

Also, I am keeping in mind that these animals are genetically engineered;  the traditional cop-out is “well, they used frog DNA here and monitor lizard DNA there, that’s why they have this trait and that trait”…okay, okay, I get it. In the making of the milkshake that becomes a Jurassic Park/World dinosaur, you don’t really get a dinosaur, but a reasonable facsimile.

On to the dinos….

  • Ankylosaurus—It would have been nice to see one really bash the I.Rex in the leg.
  • Apatosaurus—Terrific (and now rare) puppet head; showed a lot of expression.
  • Baryonyx—I don’t remember seeing it
  • Dimorphodon—Looked great!!! Toothy little buggers!
  • Edmontosaurus—Barely saw.
  • Gallimimus—Nice seeing them again but they had a weird extra wrinkly look.
  • Metriacanthosaurus– I don’t remember seeing it
  • Microceratus—Nice to see some of the lesser-represented dinosaurs. Neat facial markings.
  • Mosasaurus—Beautiful, but way too big. Also, I don’t think they could jump like that.
  • Pachycephalosaurus—Would have liked to have seen the head-conking action (which scientists are still not certain they even did) but it was nice to see them.
  • Parasaurolophus—Always a favorite of mine, looked great.
  • Pteranodon—Cool to see, but THEY COULD NOT PICK THINGS UP WITH THEIR FEET! You need an opposable toe to do this and they did not have it!
  • Stegosaurus—Looks like they got the tail at the right height now.
  • Suchomimus– I don’t remember seeing it.
  • Triceratops—Always a favorite, but it was weird seeing the big mishmash herd of intermixed dinos.
  • Tyrannosaurus —I liked that the same Tyrannosaurus is still around—you can see the scars on her neck from the velociraptor attack ages ago.
  • Velociraptor—Starting to feel  a bit like zombies now with the oversaturation. They are also still too big. It was neat, however, seeing them as a sort of…hero?
  • Indominus Rex:  Oh, lord. Pull up a chair, folks.
    Some of the known species that were used in the creation of this hybrid are Tyrannosaurus, Velociraptor, Carnotaurus, Giganotosaurus, Majungasaurus, and Rugops, as well as modern animals including cuttlefish and an unspecified species of tree frog.

Here are the heads of some of the  main predators that  were used. You can possibly see a bit of each one in I. Rex’s design.













Giganotosaurus would have provided the size, as it was bigger than Tyrannosaurus. The line of the mouth also follows this dinosaur’s the most.
To me, the head shape most resembles Majungasaurus with a stronger Tryannosaurus jaw.
Carnotaurus is famous for the osteoderms (all those knobby bumps on the skin) so I bet that was its contribution.
Rugops had some little crests and such on its head and I see those in the I.Rex design.
Her overall body build is very “raptor” like, even down to the primitive quills on her arms, suggesting rudimentary feathers. AND her arms are in the right position!


In general, not very badass to me, but, I admit I am biased. 🙂


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